


always stay

by farthendur



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-NNN, idolverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 05:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farthendur/pseuds/farthendur
Summary: It's the last NNN recording and it's so much harder than Johnny thought. A thread of comfort awaits him at home.





	always stay

The late nights. The cheesy lines. The ridiculous letters, the shared laughs. The hours upon hours of good music - not all of it Johnny’s personal preference, but all of it worth playing, sharing with listeners.

The guests - the awkward and the intimidating and the funny and those that are brothers. 

The moments of feeling like he’s creating something so meaningful. Like so many of the regular barriers are lifted and it’s just him and Jaehyun and a staff member or two and the blinking lights of the city outside in the gentle flow of the music. Like all the stress of the day fades away.

And now. He wishes the cameras would stop rolling, and also wishes they never would. Wants to say so much more to the listeners, and also wants to shut everything off and spend a moment alone with his emotions. His heart has been breaking for some days now, and it’s tough, knowing that the grandest things are yet to come, that he’d trade none of it for the world, yet wishing he could hold on to this one thing, wishing he could take the steering wheel for once.

Johnny wipes his nose with his sleeve again, back to the cameras, and picks up the “NCT Night Night” sign from the ledge. He rests it in the corner by their bags, then grabs the stuffies Doyoung brought them and arranges them to lean onto the microphone stands. Jae-D and John-D.  _ Good here? _ , he asks Jaehyun and Jaehyun laughs and nods, sniffling. Staff brings in slices of the cake and they eat hastily, laughing and basking in the bittersweet parting moments.

Between thanking the staff that’s been with them, their mentors and supporters, between packing all up, they find time to share a big hug. Johnny tucks his face in Jaehyun’s shoulder and Jaehyun’s patting his back and it’s long and much needed and good thing the cameras aren’t rolling anymore. Doyoung comes back into the studio then and they wrap him in a giant hug too and he’s protesting and they’re laughing, but they’re so sincerely thankful to him, and he’s never missed an opportunity to be the sweetest on NNN, and this meant a lot to him too.

When everything is wrapped up and Johnny’s spent a few final minutes in his chair, grazing the equipment with appreciative fingers, they flick the lights off. 

He and Jaehyun stand in the doorframe together to give the studio one last look. 

They close the door one last time...for now, maybe.  
  


The dorms offer no reprieve of the heavy ball of emotions curled at the bottom of Johnny’s stomach, but they add a welcome layer of warmth. All the members are squeezed in 127’s living room, on couches and armchairs and kitchen chairs and stools and the floor, and WayV made it home early to be there, and there’s even Donghyuck’s voice coming out in crackles on Facetime from someone’s phone. It’s all so loud and familiar, all the hugs and hands clapped on his back, the shrieks of laughter and genuine smiles of  _ You did well _ . John-D and Jae-D, the center of attention, but also just an occasion for everyone to come together for half an hour like they haven’t in a while. There’s more cake, some music from a laptop somewhere, and two framed gifts, one of the hundreds of photos of Johnny and Jaehyun from NNN,  _ chosen by popular vote, hyung! _

It’s welcome but only for a bit. Everyone is weighed down by exhaustion and Johnny is grateful when one by one, they all retreat to their rooms and he can get started on his evening routine before sprawling in bed to finally be alone with his thoughts. Although it’s not quite what he wants. In the back of his mind, a tiny flame reminds him - he wouldn’t mind the warmth of a particular someone on a night like this either.

He picks up a towel and some underwear and on his way to the bathroom, pauses by Jaehyun’s room. Jaehyun gives him a gentle, dimpled smile, and Johnny responds in kind. They’ve discussed the whole thing so much over the last few weeks, said most that there is to be said. The only other person who knows exactly what’s in Johnny’s heart at this moment is Jaehyun.  _ We’ll do something like this again some time, yeah? _ Johnny cocks his head, smiling still, so bittersweetly.  _ We will. It’ll come together. Come here, _ and Johnny takes a step in and they hug again, laughing when Johnny lifts Jaehyun a few centimeters off the floor. Jaehyun is shirtless and feels smaller than usual in Johnny’s arms, and Johnny is just so grateful for all the moments he’s had and will continue to have with him.

The hot shower does wonders to chase out the tension in Johnny’s body, but also makes his eyelids about ten times heavier. He wraps the massive towel over his shoulders and makes his way to his room. It’s dim when he walks in, the only light coming from the lamp on his nightstand. On the lower bunk, Johnny’s bunk, a familiar and loved figure rests, knees drawn to his chest as he plays games on his phone.  _ That’s my bed _ , Johnny says, smiling, happy to see Taeyong there,  _ Yeah it is, so come lay down. _

They lie together, Taeyong turning to face Johnny. He looks even smaller than usual, but Johnny’s used to the way the younger likes to curl up, make himself little. There’s tiredness in Taeyong’s eyes, but a patient concern too, and fondness in his smile. He’s beautiful and Johnny couldn’t be more grateful to have him.

_ I don’t have much to say _ , Johnny half-whispers, shrugs. Taeyong purses his lips adorably, shrugging back,  _ Okay. We can just go to sleep if you want. _ But the silence prompts some of his thoughts out, and Johnny snuggles deeper under the covers and closer to Taeyong. Says a couple of things that bring the pain back to choke him up. Taeyong plays with his fingers and listens and hums and responds where appropriate and it’s so precious. So lovely.  _ Like I’ve told you, I’m so proud of you and Jaehyunnie for all you did on Ennana, _ he says when silence stretches comfortably between them again. His words are quiet, earnest, tender,  _ I loved listening to you two at the dorm sometimes with some of the members, or falling asleep to your voice in my headphones. This door isn’t closing forever. I know you know this and I know it’s still sad. You’ll have so many more opportunities and I will be prouder and prouder each time. I’ve seen you grow so much working on your ambition through the radio show. You’re such a wonderful DJ, babe. You touched so many hearts every night, even beyond Czennies… _

Hot tears land on the pillow between the two of them and Johnny reaches for tissues on the nightstand through sniffles. Taeyong breathes a laugh and helps him wipe his face, giggles coming from both. There’s a whole blanket of warmth enveloping Johnny head to toe. He presses his eyes closed for a long moment, stinging, feeling Taeyong’s warm hand in his own, fingers interlocked. Taeyong is a gift.

It’s been...maybe just over a month since they’ve been together like this, like they do sometimes, their precious minutes alone that sometimes grow into precious moments of intimacy unlike they’ve known before. The heavy sphere is gone from Johnny’s stomach.

The silence turns tired. They both yawn and their yawns turn into shimmery eyes and content smiles. They’re so much closer into each other’s space now.  _ I think my exhaustion is making me more emotional,  _ Johnny confesses, grinning, then they agree it’s most certainly time to sleep and the light is put out. 

In the glow of the city streaming in through the blinds, their gazes remain locked, fingers interwoven. Taeyong slides his cheek closer on the pillow. He tilts his chin up, and Johnny closes the tiny gap between them, sealing their lips into a tender kiss. Some whispers follow, as they find a comfortable position. Johnny wants to spoon Taeyong, wrap him whole in his embrace, but also wants his hair and back petter. They compromise, Taeyong snuggling into Johnny’s chest and pulling one of Johnny’s arms around his waist. He reaches around and begins running his fingers through Johnny’s hair, then down his back. It’s relaxing. Soothing.

Normally, it’s more than enough to lull Johnny to sleep, but tonight, tonight sleep comes harder and for some reason it’s hot under the covers. Tingles ripple through Johnny under Taeyong’s fingers. Johnny takes a deep breath, so drawn in by Taeyong’s affection, his unconditional support and love. He shifts back just enough to see Taeyong’s face, presses little kisses into his hair and Taeyong’s big beautiful eyes are on him in the dark. Johnny shrugs, even though no question was asked.

Taeyong kisses him then, and he kisses back, so softly, so lovingly, stroking Taeyong’s face and his hair with reverent fingertips, their breaths mingling. Johnny shifts, tilts his head, lays kiss after kiss along Taeyong’s neck and he breathes out through his nose before stopping him, nudging him back so  _ he _ can kiss Johnny’s jawline, his neck, his collarbones. Their touches are so tender, fleeting, make Johnny shiver with sensitivity.

A moment later and they’re both shirtless, tongues sliding together gently. Johnny’s thrumming with a dozen feelings and sensations, wants so little, just to be with Taeyong in this moment for an eternity. They rut together, shifting from one awkward position to another, lost in their kiss, arousal meeting between them. Absent from the drawer, from its usual location, is a strip of condoms, and they laugh together, it’s been a while and it’s just not been on their minds.  _ I want to be inside you _ , the whisper hangs between them as Johnny strokes Taeyong’s cheek with a thumb, and the temperature is up,  _ And I want you inside of me _ , but reality remains and it’s okay, of course it’s okay,  _ Tomorrow, _ Taeyong presses the promise to Johnny’s cheek as he slides his hands  down the toned expanse of his back, nudging the other’s underwear off.

Johnny smiles, grins, beams, so tired, so spent, so content to be here and now. He kicks his underwear off and then their lengths are sliding together and it’s blissful, the first few movements, breathy moans filling the space between them. It quickly becomes wet, but not wet enough, and a bit of lube does wonders to make it feel that much better, slick, satisfying in Johnny’s large hand, and the nips Taeyong leaves to his jaw are the perfect company to the way the ridges of their tips catch on each other, bump together. Amidst groans and whimpers and kisses and whispers of overflowing mutual affection, bare chests pressed together, the heat builds and builds and Johnny spills over both of them, hot and sticky, hips stuttering, arms trembling. He collapses half on top of Taeyong, all kinds of tiredness and hormones crashing through him and mixing with gratitude and love, and it’s up to Taeyong to nudge him off and gather the fluid and bring Johnny’s fist back to fuck into with a gorgeous squelch. Johnny kisses him through his orgasm, swallows his moans, holds him close with his clean hand, then nuzzles his face into Taeyong’s neck so gratefully,  _ I love you _ .

It’s a remarkable feeling, the enormous surge of love and warmth that grips Johnny, even as they grope for a shirt of unknown ownership to wipe themselves off, even as they pull the covers back up and snuggle close, still a bit sticky, still a bit gross, infinitely exhausted. 

A whispered goodnight, a soft kiss. A deep, contented sigh. The rhythmic rise and fall of Taeyong’s chest. The comforting cloak that settles over Johnny’s mind.

Night, night.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I'd write something to make myself feel a bit better about the ending of NCT's Night Night. I hope it gave you some comfort as well! I'm sure Johnny did indeed receive lots of love and support from the members, but I don't mean to claim this fic is anything more than fantasy. Lol that this is exactly 1995 words! Thank you for reading!
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/johnxuxi).


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